(bad bathroom selfiie, I know)
Last night Cece and I got into, what I would consider, our worst fight yet. The best part though is that it wasn't really a fight. It was more like a very loud discussion. What we were talking about really isn't relevant so much as how we went about it.
My girl is almost as opposite from me as you can get. One thing that sticks out the most is that she is very high strung and constantly concerned about everything around her. I am pretty laid back and only concerned about my people.
I've always considered Cece's concern for everyone around her more of a busy body complex and it irritated me to no end. I would always tell her to mind her own business and that other people's problems are not of her concern. I mainly told her that because with her concern for others came her high strung personality. Sometimes she would get so worked up about someone else's problem it would make her irritable and emotional. Granted, this could be simply because she is a girl but I think most of it is because she is Cece. It's just the way she is.
I've come to realize that I was wrong with my initial irritation with these traits. It wasn't that she wanted to know all these things about all these people for her own pleasure and then to spread but she simply likes to know what is going on with others because she wants to know the "whys" and the "what can I do." It's almost like she wants to take the weight of someone else's problems and shoulder that burden with them.
Along with her concern comes immense compassion. I can safely admit that she did not inherite this trait from me. If someone in my circle had a problem, I would lift that weight with them, no question. However, Cece she will do it for anyone. It is hard for me to understand that mentality.
Again it shouldn't surprise me since Nate is pretty much the exact same way. But as an adult I assumed this was just in his upbringing. Apparently, this is something that Cece was more or less born with and in the past few years I have grown to adore this about her.
I also have struggled to explain to her that she can't save or help everyone. Sometimes she needs to learn to step back and take more care of herself than everyone else around her. This gift she has, is not something that I want her to get burned out on so young in life. I'm trying, or more like struggling, to show her that.
Anyway, the loud discussion that took place lasted for 45 minutes. I caught myself trying to instill in her a lesson in 45 minutes that will mostly likely take me her whole childhood to learn, if not longer.
It was my turn to take a step back. We went over what we discussed, because what is the point of a discussion if the person your trying to get your point across to doesn't know what the point is in the first place.
She stayed in her room and laid in her bed and I let her be. I was upset that we had gotten into it in the first place. I realized later that night that I would much rather comunicate with her, in anyway it comes, than to not have any communcation between the two of us at all. I know from experience that when no discussion is happening the relationship and the trust is pretty much gone.
Her and I being the only girls in the house will have it's highs and lows. I belive that if we are able to communicate during the lows that the highs will come easily and often.
There isn't another person on the planet like Cece. From the color of her eyes, to the smokey tone of her voice and that gentle heart she carries around with her. It amazes me everyday that I had even a small part in creating all that Cecelia is and what she will become in the following years.
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