Comfort

This picture was taken by Nate, when he and Cecelia climb to the top of Trail Ridge in RMNP.

He took my camera and just he and C made the climb. When they got back down he told me how Cece had to stop to catch her breath at one point. I was shocked, our girl doesn't even understand the meaning of taking a break. Nate had asked her if she wanted to come back down but she refused. 

He snapped the picture above when they reached the top. 

This week I found out something sort of pivotal in our girl's world. Something that she had been keeping from us for 2 years! Something that when she finally opened up to me about totally opened up a whole different world into our relationship. 

For the longest time when I would look around Cece's room, which if you follow me on Instagram you know I spend huge amounts of time in there, I would always just see little messes all over. It was so infuriating because we don't keep lots of stuff in our home so I could never figure out why her room always looked so cluttered and messy. When she went off to school this year and Nash is taking his morning nap, I sneak in there to do work. I'd see her blanket folded and laying on the seat of her desk chair, her stuffed animals in a pile by the heater with pillows, blankets piled up on her bed. My thoughts were always "Good grief she can't put anything away." The more I would sit in there the more I realized that she had made these areas more cozy, comfortable. My girl seeks out comfort and if she can't find it she creates it. 

When she finally confided in me about this other part of her world this week, I asked her "Cece, why didn't you feel like you could tell me about this sooner?" her response was "I don't know, I thought it would be uncomfortable, like weird or something."

It made perfect since and because I made an effort to be more observant of her it wasn't shocking. Once she realized that it was perfectly acceptable to talk to me about these types of situations, I now see this much lighter version of my daughter every time I see her. 

Cece and I don't mix well all the time. She is sensitive and dramatic when I'm defensive and sarcastic. She loves everyone and I love my people. I was reminded this week just how much I can learn from her and how much, as her Mom, I can guide her. We are slowly starting to enter new territory in our relationship, as she gets older and has more opinions and feelings about more mature things and it's scary and new.

I'm sure Nate and I are bound to mess up but what I've learned so far that if we give Cece that feeling of comfort in our relationship with her, there is nothing she wont share with us, even if in our eyes it is uncomfortable but sometimes parenting isn't about what makes us comfortable, it's about what is right. For as long as Nate and I have been parents, we have always agreed on keeping communication open with our kids. Whether we wanted to hear what they were saying or not. How can you raise up these little people without honestly listening to them? You can't, not without creating a very hostile environment. 

Our girl is only 8, so we have a long way to go but this is a person who never gives up. She only knows one direction, forward and has one speed, which is full speed. I pray I can always keep up with her, while she still needs me and well after. 

Here's to climbing more mountains little one. 

*** Yes, I'm purposefully being vague about the situation. As my wildlings get older I need to scale back the detailed information regarding their personal lives. She may only be 8 but I'm thinking the internet will still be around when she is 16.***