Celebrating Nash's birthday, well celebrating a healthy and very happy birthday for our Nash, means so much to us. For 15 weeks we didn't know if we were even going to be bringing home our baby or in what condition he would be living his life. Our doctors pushed for more invasive testing, when something in our anatomy scan didn't come back as it should. Nate and I had already made our decision that no matter what any test showed, I would be carrying our son to term. No need for further testing, we would take what was ours and Nash... Nash was ours.
When I went into labor, not only was I preparing myself for what was to come, knowing full well all about the pain and process it took to bring a baby into this world but I had to prepare myself for not getting to take him home either, or maybe not right away. Nash was born into a quiet room, it was only Nate, myself, a nurse and the doctor. He came out so quickly there wasn't 10 people in the room like there is normally. The doctor laughed at his entrance and I remember looking at Nate and seeing his eye's a little blurry. It was so calm and that calm made me nervous. Then I heard him cry. Then all I could do was watch Nate. Not until they placed Nash on my chest and the nurse looked at us and said "He's perfect" did I finally take a breath. I could feel him squirming on my chest and his face nuzzle into my neck. I saw Nate look to the ceiling and breath and for the first time in all the babies we've had, I cried.
For 15 weeks I didn't give myself the ability to hope for such a perfect outcome but God decided to grant that to our family anyway. Every milestone Nash hits, every time he shows us something new that he can do, our entire family gushes over him. I can't imagine how different our family would be without Nash being apart of it all. How different Arlo's temperament would be towards people. His love for his little brother can not be expressed in words. How Cece's mothering instinct kicked in when he entered our home. She always wants to be apart of what Nash is doing, as long as she gets to play the mothering role.
I've always described Cecelia as our Joy, Arlo as our light and if Nash held any title it would easily be our Hope. When we found out he was going to be joining our family, we were dealing with the loss of a family member, another with a breast cancer diagnosis. In the months following his arrival we found out another member of our family would be battling cancer. Through it all he gave us the little hope that we needed to look forward to all the new changes, all the hard battles still to be fought, all the wonderful times still waiting to be had within our family. He makes us smile, talk in strange voices, do ridiculous things just to make him happy. As always this family bends to King Nash's wishes and we wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Happy 1st Birthday Henry Nash, Nasher, Nasher Basher, King Nash, Nash. You are unbelievably loved and not just by this crazy clan of ours but by so many.
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