That Place

Do you have a place that holds a piece of you? Or a place that when you go back to it, makes you feel full? How about a place that immediately brings a smile to your face no matter what? 

I do, it's Surfside Beach, South Carolina. 

It will be 6 years ago in May that we took our first ever family vacation down to South Carolina. 

I remember in March of 2010, I was sick of the cold weather, sick of Nate always being gone for work (he worked for a different company at the time) and I just wanted to be in the sun. So we picked a place on the map. My criteria included: Not to touristy, family oriented, we needed a condo or house, walking distance to food, entertainment ect. and of course sand, sun and saltwater. 

So after searching the internet, we came across Surfside Beach, SC. We rented a small 2 bedroom condo across the street from the beach, through homeaway. We were all set for our first vacation in May. Now I just had to wait 2 months.

However, shortly after booking our trip, we found out I was expecting! We were so thrilled, it took us 14 months to get pregnant with Cece and we had only been trying for a short time. 

Unfortunately, at 7 weeks, we lost the baby. 

I didn't have time to dwell, I had a daughter who required all my attention and a wedding for a dear friend that I needed to be in and pain and hurt were not on the agenda. So I sucked it up, I smiled, I laughed, I went through the motions. I thought I was flawless, apparently I need to give my husband more credit with observations. 

We made it through the wedding and we had a few more weeks till our trip and I just got mad and sad and confused and on top of it all I hid it. So when it was time for us to hit the road early on Friday morning, I almost refused to get in the car. But Nate handed me my camera, at the time it was small little digital thing, and said let's go. So I pulled him in real close and snapped our first vacation picture:

                                    

I know, I know get a good look at what Nate looks like without a beard. I can almost still feel that prickle on my face from his beard slowly growing back in and feel the sun coming up behind us. We hopped in our car and hit the road.

It was the first time we had taken Cece out of the state and the first time in 4 years that Nate and I had been on a vacation. We drove all the way to the Tennesse border and stopped at the welcome center around midnight and slept there. I remember waking up to the Smoky Mountains and the sun coming up through the fog. We ate dry cereal and I took a ton of pictures. We drove through the Smoky Mountain National park. Nate was patient and he made stop after stop so I could get out and take pictures. I would set my camera on timer and place it on a rock or the car and get pictures of us together. 

We made the final 5 hours to South Carolina after exploring Pigeon Forge. By the time we pulled into Surfside it was almost dark, but not dark enough to take Cece to the beach. We parked in public parking and I grabbed my ipod, so I could record her reaction. 

 We all stepped onto that smooth warm sand together and I just felt all that pain, that pain that I had been harboring just slowly evaporate. There was no longer room for it, because in front of me was my daughter running full speed towards the ocean. When I looked up from watching her through my ipod, I noticed Nate staring at me and I quickly said "Well are you going to let her drown?" he just laughed and ran after her.

She had no fear, she had no understanding that this great big body of water she was running to was so vast and consuming. It was such a sight to watch her experince something so new. I gave Nate the ipod to watch and he just laughed and I asked him what was so funny, he just looked at me and said "You laughing in the background." I guess it had been awhile since he heard me genuinely laugh.

The rest of the week was so wonderful and completly healing. We spent day after day sitting on the beach, watching Cecelia explore and play. We took long naps, ate lots of local food, played arcade games, won silly prizes and consumed a crazy amount of ice cream. We took a day trip to visit Charelston and Boone Hall Plantation. I set our camera for a family photo:

When we drove past the beach on our way home, I thought I was going to feel sad all over again. On the contrary it was a feeling of comfort and I was looking forward to getting home and welcome summer in Iowa. 

I wish that was the last loss we suffered but we experienced it all over again in August. That fall Nate thought we should head back to South Carolina again in May. This time we decided to invite Nate's family along as well. It was such a special place for us we wanted to share it with them as well.  

So the following year we went back to Surfside and when we went back I was 6 months pregnant with Arlo. The first thing we did when we pulled into town was go right back to that public parking and hopped out of the car. As soon as my feet hit that sand and I took in the salt air a smile broke across my face. I watched as Cece ran towards the ocean, again, while Nate chased after her, again. I looked down at my growing belly and I knew then that salt air, sand and seawater make everything better.

       

Arlo's first unofficial first trip to South Carolina. I remember exactly how I felt taking this picture of Cece. Her little tush and the sunburn from the day before. Nothing ever stopped her from running right towards the water.

        

We have been back 4 times since our first visit. Only once out of those 4 times have I not been pregnant or have added another kid to our family. Nate and I are already excited to bring Nash next year and watch him experience this place that brings so much joy to our family. Even Cece and Arlo have been telling him stories of the beach. 

         

                                         

Arlo's first official time to the beach. His excitment sort of ended once he realized the sand stuck to his feet and the water tried to get him. He got over it by the time we went back, obviously.

      

This place will always be like a second home to us. Whenever we talk about what we would do if we ever won the lottery, buying a beach house in South Carolina is always at the top of our list. It's also the place that we plan to retire too. It's a place we will return to over and over again. It's that place for us, that place where we healed. 

 

                                           

Our first unoffical photo as a family of 5 at our favorite spot. I look at this picture and think back to our very first trip and feel so lucky how different our family picture looks from the first time. I know some time down the road, this picture will grow even more. When our kids eventually get married, there will be more people. When they add to their own familys and then there will be grandchildren. But one day, one day way down the road, Nate and I will eventually go back and it will just be the two of us, just like how it began, almost 10 years ago. There is so much to look forward too.